• We Are Fixing the Fixing of the School Bus Situation

    As we wind down this academic year, we reflect how we’ve overcome – maybe how we’ve thrived – since our opening day in August and “The Incident.” In case you don’t recall, The Incident, simply put, was the failing of the newly implemented Washburn County Public School Bus pickups and drop offs on the first day of school, August 9th...

    Read more
  • I’m the Bear from the Woods, and Bumble Wants Me to Be Their New CEO

    Unless you’ve been living in a hole in the ground, you’ve probably already heard of me. I’m the Bear that a majority of women say they would rather encounter in the woods than a human man. (Unrelated: I actually do live in a hole in the ground.)

    Read more
  • The 2024 University of Phoenix Valedictorian Speech, Presented By Draft Kings

    My heart is full today as I look out and see hundreds of familiar usernames. I’m honored to have the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with you all. I am excited for us to leave this Zoom meeting with our heads held high, knowing that we are the next generation of thinkers and doers. 

    Read more
  • #GoryGameshows

    Pusword, Slash Cab, The NewlyBled Game, and more #GoryGameshows on this week's trending joke game!



    Read more
  • Confused About “Clowning” and “Soft-Clowning?” You’re Not Alone

    Soft-clowning: One of the most beautiful aspects of the clowning community is its open-minded approach to different degrees of expression. Soft-clowning refers to clowns who skip the complete outfit in favor of simpler get-ups: only a sponge nose, say, or partial clown makeup, to prevent mess.  

    Read more

THIS WEEK’S

Issue

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Humorist Podcasts

Talkward w/ guest Bob Eckstein

This episode we go off the grid to a dark cabin deep in the Pennsylvania woods where a recluse has come up for air to chat about his new book baby. Cartoonist, author, and all around creative genius Bob Eckstein chats about his new book The World’s Greatest Museums. Order it today! https://bit.ly/footnotesmuseum

Humorist Books

Featuring humor novels, cartoon collections, children’s book parodies, and more!

Greg Maxwell’s Inferno:The Erotic, Judeo-Christian, Modern-Day Odyssey No One Asked For

by Keith James

Hell has come to claim the last mortal universe. A bleeding tower has burst through the 24-Hour Fitness parking lot. Demons circle the city of San Diego. One name is called to challenge Lucifer’s Champion: Greg Maxwell.

BUY NOW

Lyssa Strata: A Comedy for the Frustrated 

by Martti Nelson

A small-town librarian finds her voice and kicks some misogynist butt in the process. Inspired by the classical Greek comedy, Lysistrata, librarian Lyssa Strata has long begged the Town Council of Athena, Massachusetts to repeal its disgusting, old, misogynist, and racist laws, but the Council, an all-male entity for 400 years, has blown her off as a redheaded spinster—who, according to a 1673 law, should legally be run out of town at the end of a musket upon a poor fiscal year. When Lyssa seeks to invade the male bastion as the first woman ever on the Council, the men in charge treat her candidacy as a hilarious joke; that is, until Lyssa leads the women of the town on a sex strike.

BUY NOW 

The Witch Demands a Retraction: Fairy Tale Reboots for Adults

by Melissa Balmain (Author), Ron Barrett (Illustrator)

Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales!

This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business.

BUY NOW 

Seven Easy Steps To Go To Hell

by Brandon Hicks

What you see is not always the whole picture, as you’ll learn on your journey to HELL!

Occupying the lowest rung on the demonic corporate ladder, Beezle, Buzzle, and Barb have the unenviable task of ensuring enough souls are going to Hell. Using their patented Seven Deadly Sins™ method, the trio explains how you can get yourself a one-way ticket.

BUY NOW 

The # * % < ! + & Year in Review

by Ron Hauge

From Emmy® Award winner Ron Hauge (The Simpsons, Seinfeld, The Ren & Stimpy Show, In Living Color) comes ‘The # * % < ! + & Year In Review', a retrospective collection of single-panel, full-color cartoons selected from his popular Instagram account. The year 2020 will not soon be forgotten, but perhaps we can gain a little perspective with these biting, often outrageous illustrations lampooning Trump, the pandemic, social unrest, the whole mess. BUY NOW 

The Elements of Stress and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm

by Bob Eckstein & Michael Shaw

THE ELEMENTS OF STRESS and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm is a humorous handbook to help readers better deal with the challenges and headaches of our times, from overeating, to love problems, money woes, global warming, night sweats, winter itch, general anxiety, and so much more. Plus, over 70 stress-defusing cartoons from two of the best gag cartoonists

BUY NOW 

Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks

by Jessica Delfino

Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks delivers a grown-up spin on the quintessential children’s joke book. Chock-full of silly wordplay and looney leaps in logic, this collection touches on a variety of topics and themes, from the great outdoors, to celebrities, outer space, and recreational cannabis. Perfect for readers who wish to reconnect with their inner-child or anyone who enjoys a good guffaw- or groan-worthy joke.

BUY NOW 

A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

BUY NOW 

A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

BUY NOW 

From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts

by Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton

From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts dives into the contradictory, divided, and all-too-often unsettling state of the union. Like Huck Finn meets Game Change, the novel examines the politicians and popular figures who played starring roles in 2016 and holds up a mirror to the electorate that ultimately made Trumpism possible.

BUY NOW 

How Amusing

Read what all the fuss is about…

We Are Fixing the Fixing of the School Bus Situation

As we wind down this academic year, we reflect how we’ve overcome – maybe how we’ve thrived – since our opening day in August and “The Incident.” In case you don’t recall, The Incident, simply put, was the failing of the newly implemented Washburn County Public School Bus pickups and drop offs on the first day of school, August 9th…

I’m the Bear from the Woods, and Bumble Wants Me to Be Their New CEO

Unless you’ve been living in a hole in the ground, you’ve probably already heard of me. I’m the Bear that a majority of women say they would rather encounter in the woods than a human man. (Unrelated: I actually do live in a hole in the ground.)

The 2024 University of Phoenix Valedictorian Speech, Presented By Draft Kings

My heart is full today as I look out and see hundreds of familiar usernames. I’m honored to have the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with you all. I am excited for us to leave this Zoom meeting with our heads held high, knowing that we are the next generation of thinkers and doers. 

#GoryGameshows

Pusword, Slash Cab, The NewlyBled Game, and more #GoryGameshows on this week’s trending joke game!

Confused About “Clowning” and “Soft-Clowning?” You’re Not Alone

Soft-clowning: One of the most beautiful aspects of the clowning community is its open-minded approach to different degrees of expression. Soft-clowning refers to clowns who skip the complete outfit in favor of simpler get-ups: only a sponge nose, say, or partial clown makeup, to prevent mess.  

Lesser-Known Precursors to Famous Musical Performances

June 1, 1980: Babbling Toddler Bites Head Off Batman Action Figure During “Happy Birthday”

Classic Works of Literature Updated for Gen Z

Alice’s Activism in Wonderland: Upon witnessing the Red Queen’s abuse of capital punishment, Alice’s disillusionment with the monarchy only grows as she encounters the populous of Wonderland falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms, drug use, and addiction in an attempt to distract from a tyrannical, “colorblind” head of state. Alice takes matters into her own hands to usurp the powers-that-be and help everyone get on the Caterpillar’s level with some solid smoke.

Modern Day School Absence Excuses

“Tear gas residue in classroom still causing problems with allergies.” “Sent home early as punishment for requesting a book from the school library.” “Militia meeting ran late.” And more!

#RobotMeds

R2-CBD2, A.I.-llegra, Robotussin Cop, and more #RobotMeds on this week’s trending joke game!

Increasingly Specific Metaphors for Life

Life is an orgy and I wasn’t really invited, but showed up anyway.

Team Trump Online Memes Updates

Godzilla: Hey, when you think about destroying a corrupt town like Washington D.C., what comes to mind quicker than Godzilla?  Imagine Prez Trump’s head over Godzilla’s as he stomps through town screaming “MAGA” or “Sleepy Joe!” (depending on focus group feedback) and we can turn the fleeing populous into members of the Demon-cratic Party (pretty good, right? I just made that up now). I think we can use video from January 6th.  There’s a lot of footage there.

Conditions Under Which I Am Willing to Babysit

The child must be older than a toddler. The problem with toddlers is that they are prone to accidents, tantrums, and so forth. The child must be younger than a middle schooler. Let’s say no older than a third grader, just to be safe. The problem with children above this age is that they start to develop opinions, attitudes, and the cleverness to say hurtful things.

Poople Magazine

100 Most Beautiful Poops, Plus 65 more Celeb BM’s, Holy Sh%T! The Pope talks poop with Poople! Dropping A Deuce With Bruce; See Why He’s Called The Boss, Yes Rock, We Smell What You’re Cooking! Skid Marks The Spot! Name The Celebrity Based On Their Soiled Underpants. And more in this issue of Poople Magazine!

Surprising Facts from My 23andMe Results 

Ancestry 

Southern European – 62.3% 

Northwestern European – 29.3% 

Sub-Saharan African – 0.4% 

Self-esteem – <0.1%  Butter – 1 cup 

#FrugalFairyTales

Refundzel, Chicken Little Tipper, Only Hansel, and more #FrugalFairyTales on this week's trending joke game!

I’m A Bath–This Election Season, Help Me Defeat April Showers As The Primary Bathing Method

Look at yourself in the mirror. There’s pubic hair everywhere, there’s black mold in the grout, and the water’s rising because of a clog. You deserve a better kind of body bathing during the month of April. You need…a bath.

By Doing Whatever We Ask, You Agree to Our Terms

By not agreeing to our terms, you agree to our terms. By clicking this box without reading our terms, you admit to being a first-class liar. And more!

Other New Additions To Trump's Bible

Several books in this version of the Bible are presented Mad Libs style. Many more bits featuring Jesus hanging out with prostitutes. The Ten Commandments now officially designated as "fake news". And more!

Pros and Cons of Becoming a Vampire 

Pro: Will have a reason to start a gang and call ourselves “The Lost Girls.” Con: Will have to keep explaining the connection to the 1987 film “The Lost Boys” featuring Kiefer Sutherland.

#SpringASpaceMovie

Allergies Not Included, Battlefield Earth Day, Tax Return of the Jedi, and more #SpringASpaceMovie on this week's trending joke game!

Are My Symptoms Seasonal Allergies…Or?

Is it...Measles, Shingles, Bubonic Plague, Justinian Plague (making a comeback) Or more!

A Letter from Someone Who Wants to Keep a Confederate Statue Up Solely Because That’s Where He Lost His Virginity

Once ol’ General Jackson is no longer standing in the park, where will I point to when I want to recount to people the greatest night of my life? How will I explain to my son where his old man received his first ever sloppy toppy?

Your New iPhone with AiOS

The Health app becomes overly concerned about your well-being and starts diagnosing you with rare diseases based on your daily step count. And more!

 Get The Weekly Humorist Updates!



CARTOON: Cat-astrophic HR

Paws for Concern. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

We Are Fixing the Fixing of the School Bus Situation

As we wind down this academic year, we reflect how we’ve overcome – maybe how we’ve thrived – since our opening day in August and “The Incident.” In case you don’t recall, The Incident, simply put, was the failing of the newly implemented Washburn County Public School Bus pickups and drop offs on the first day of school, August 9th...

I’m the Bear from the Woods, and Bumble Wants Me to Be Their New CEO

Unless you’ve been living in a hole in the ground, you’ve probably already heard of me. I’m the Bear that a majority of women say they would rather encounter in the woods than a human man. (Unrelated: I actually do live in a hole in the ground.)

The 2024 University of Phoenix Valedictorian Speech, Presented By Draft Kings

My heart is full today as I look out and see hundreds of familiar usernames. I’m honored to have the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with you all. I am excited for us to leave this Zoom meeting with our heads held high, knowing that we are the next generation of thinkers and doers. 

#GoryGameshows

Pusword, Slash Cab, The NewlyBled Game, and more #GoryGameshows on this week's trending joke game!

Confused About “Clowning” and “Soft-Clowning?” You’re Not Alone

Soft-clowning: One of the most beautiful aspects of the clowning community is its open-minded approach to different degrees of expression. Soft-clowning refers to clowns who skip the complete outfit in favor of simpler get-ups: only a sponge nose, say, or partial clown makeup, to prevent mess.  

Lesser-Known Precursors to Famous Musical Performances

June 1, 1980: Babbling Toddler Bites Head Off Batman Action Figure During “Happy Birthday”

CARTOON: Running Revelations

Personal Fiction. Today's cartoon by Andy Anderson & Rusty Ruble.

CARTOON: Peekaboo boo

Tiny Tugs. Today's cartoon by Alex John.